Zehir: I appear to be in a cave all of a sudden.
Wulfstan: Just mindin’ my own business, laddie.
Zehir: You there. Dwarf! Stout of stature, tough as nails, sturdy bearded folk, loves to drink ale, lazy to the core… am I missing any other stereotypes?
Wulfstan: Sounds like you’ve met my friend Duncan. He always has such nice things to say about me.
Zehir: Ah yes. Duncan.
Wulfstan: Ah. Duncan. Wait. Why are we talking about Duncan again?
Zehir: Want to go kill some demons?
Wulfstan: Yes. But first, we have to mop up the storyline from the previous game. Hangvul has branded me a traitor and my brother Rolf is still up to no good. We’ll have to summon our dragon god, Arkath, in a last ditch effort to make things right.
Zehir: I guess I’ll be doing all the work.
Wulfstan: Nobody has seen Arkath for decades, but you will likely find him in a patch of grassland in the middle of the tundra. You know, cuz that’s where fiery dragon gods live… the grassland.
Zehir: Who built all these one-way portals in this damn cave?
Wulfstan: Perhaps you should take on the spiraling maze above us. Leave the cave dwelling to us dwarves.
Zehir: Ah! Sunlight! And… snow. Oh god… so much snow. Now, I’ll just unlock this red border guard and… ooh, a dwarf!
Rolf: I am soooooo evil! Mu hu hwa hwa hwa! *kicks some puppies*
Zehir: And now, you are sooooooo dead.
Wulfstan: Good job. That just about wraps up the Hammers of Fate dwarf kingdom side plot. How are you holding up, Hangvul?
Hangvul: All of y’all are heathens!
Zehir: Well now. This archway will take us to the dragon god.
Hangvul: Who is this flamboyantly dressed man and why does he have such a purdy mouth?
Zehir: Who is this Santa lookalike and where are my presents?
Arkath: FAITHLESS!
Hangvul: He’s talking to you unbelievers.
Wulfstan: Arkath, why did you leave us poor helpless dwarves? Why, we had to rely on your bratty children as our Tier 7 creature!
Arkath: THE BLAME RESTS ENTIRELY ON HANGVUL!
Hangvul: What the…
Arkath: YES, IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU LED THE DWARVES TO CIVIL WAR. FOR THAT REASON, I LEFT YOU.
Hangvul: But that was at the end of the last game… not decades ago… er… please don’t incinerate me.
Arkath: SINCE WULFSTAN IS THE ONLY OTHER DWARF OF NOTE IN THIS GAME, HE IS NOW THE KING. MAKE IT SO.
Wulfstan: I did not see this coming. No siree.
Hangvul: Grovel, grovel.
Zehir: Will you be joining us in our quest to save the world from demon invasion, great and mighty Arkath?
Wulfstan: He’s gone, laddie.
Zehir: Arkath is a dick.
