Zehir: Why, I do believe this is the final chapter. What a long and strange journey this has been. Now I’m off to flag some mines.
Wulfstan: Hey laddie. Mind if I butt in? Zehir: What the… where did you come from? Wulfstan: Nowhere. Now, I fight!
Demons: Sorry Wulfstan, but our princess is in another castle! Zehir: Keep walking, Zehir.
Freyda: Die demons!
Duncan: Wait for meeeee! Let’s combine forces. Freeeeeeeyyyda! Freyda: No Duncan. I’m going to plow right ahead and attack the castle. Duncan: Le sigh. Demons: Sorry Freyda, but our princess is in another castle. Although, I see you have one of your own already. Freyda: ZING! Zehir: All my old allies are popping up and vanquishing evil. At this rate, there will be none left for me. What’s next, the orcs?
Kujin: You are correct. Zehir: Where did you come from? Kujin: Don’t you get it? All of the previous campaigns have been leading up to this point. All of our storylines are converging.
Gotai: Gotai attack with 900 cyclopses! Invincible! Demons: Actually, we’ll fight Kujin. All that leveling up you did in the last campaign was useless! Useless, I say! Kujin: Aw, crap. Why did I learn estates and navigation? Zehir: Orcs. Kujin: Well, see you at the finale… if we make it. Zehir: How much longer is this chapter going to last?
Ylaya: You forgot me! Zehir: What? Dark elves too? Demons: Okay, we’ve died four times already. Can you just go kill Biara? Zehir: Finally, we have reached Talonguard. So many reinforcements. So many powerful troops. You’ve just been… waiting for me… here? No matter, you’re going down, Biara!
Biara: Ha ha. But my forces are even stronger! Zehir: *casts Puppet Master spell* Biara: Curses. Foiled again.
Isabel: Aim the flaming catapults at the fiery demons! Demons: … Isabel: Biara. I blame you for all of this. My husband’s death. This war. The treachery. You will pay for your crimes. Now, everyone stand around Biara and blast her. Zehir: Wait. Actually, most of this war happened because of you, Isabel. Isabel: That’s besides the point. Die Biara! Biara: I’ll be baaaaaaaaaaack! Zehir: Well, if I know anything about demons, it’s that Biara is going to severely punished when she goes back to Sheogh for her failure. Duncan: Golly gee willikers! More like total abysmal failure, dude. Isabel: Thank you my friends! The throne is mine again. But all of our kingdoms are in shambles. Our allies destroyed. How will we ever rebuild everything? Freyda: I have a bad feeling about this. Isabel: Freyda? Freyda: My queen! Isabel: No. Not anymore. Now you are queen. I abdicate. The throne is yours. The Griffin Empire is no more. Now it’s time for the rise of the Unicorn Empire. All hail Freyda. Fix our kingdom, please. You can start with my castle. Also, we’ll need to replant crops. And why don’t you have a husband yet? Freyda: Husband? Well, there is one guy… Duncan: Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Freyda: Well, since we’re all here and this cut-scene hasn’t gone on long enough, let’s just get married right now! Gotai: Don’t forget to have lots of babies. Hur hur. Freyda: Well, since we’re all here, we might as well take care of that too… Zehir: Can we keep this PG-13? Gotai: Aww… Gotai like to watch.THE END
