To Honor our Fathers – Chapter 4: Mother Earth’s Wisdom

 Kujin: I must’ve taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque because I’m suddenly in a valley.

 Mystic Man: Talk to me, and I’ll transport you!

 Kujin: Please transport me.

 Mystic Man: No.

 Kujin: What is this, a game?

 Mystic Man: Your wisdom isn’t high enough.

 Kujin: What kind of a reason is that? Why does it even matter?

 Mystic Man: Because I’m an elitist prick, that’s why! Now go and get smarter.

 Kujin: I’m done murdering the wolves in the countryside. Mother Earth’s not too happy, but I am wiser.

 Mystic Man: Wherever you go, there you are! WHOOSH!

 Kujin: That was annoying. Wait a minute… he teleported me near another tent!

 Mystic Man’s Brother: We don’t provide solutions. We just jerk you around!

 Kujin: What sick thrill do you people get by living in random huts in the middle of nowhere and refusing to transport people because they’re not smart enough?

 Mystic Man’s Brother: Your tears of anguish sustain us.

 Kujin: Fine, I’ll go find some wisdom-boosting artifacts or something.

 Paladin: Orcs! At our funeral!

 Kujin: Even though it has nothing to do with the situation, I just wanted to let you guys know that we never kill kids. We’re bloodthirsty orcs, with moral limits.

 Blue Priest: Yeah. That’s a bit off-topic.

 Kujin: So, what-cha up to?

 Blue Priest: We’re burying the departed Prince Andrei, nephew of St. Isabel.

 Paladin: He was the last heir of the Griffin Empire. You never really got to play as him in the last game. But everyone sort of mentioned him from time to time.

 Blue Priest: St. Isabel ordered that he should be killed and his blood drained for the good of the kingdom. His skin should be flayed and fed to demon dogs. Also, we were to erect a monolith to Urgash, the ‘satan’ of our world.

 Kujin: And nobody thought this was the least bit suspicious?

 Blue Priest: Hindsight is 20/20 my friend.

 Kujin: It’s hard for things to get past that big steel head of yours, isn’t it?

 Blue Priest: *crickets chirp*

 Kujin: So… who are you guys?

 Blue Priest: We’re a resistance movement against the Empire. Us good guys wear blue. The bad guys wear red.

 Kujin: Thanks. I’ll make sure to only kill guys in red.

 Mystic Man’s Brother: Wherever you go, there you are! WHOOSH!

 Kujin: These mountains are making me dizzy. But at least the army I raised is intact to help Gotai.

 Demons: Kill! Kill!

 Kujin: Well, so much for that. I hope Gotai enjoys his 7 goblins and 1 centaur.

 Arantir: Greetings, shaman.

 Kujin: You again?

 Arantir: Actually, this is the first time we’ve met. This campaign takes place at the same time as my campaign.

 Kujin: I see. So we’re just looking at an earlier cutscene from a different perspective.