Raelag: My name is Raelag. Like the others, I wish to fight for the title of Clanlord.
Keeper of the Law: That lizard you’re riding on. Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?
Raelag: You must have me confused with some other former demon cultist.
Keeper of the Law: Before we start, I must ask if you know the rules.
Raelag: Uh… no. I always plunge into situations without thinking. Obviously.
Keeper of the Law: You’ll have three months to raise an army. At the end of that time, I’ll magically transport everyone into a cave and you’ll duke it out like animals until someone wins.
Raelag: Sort of a barbaric battle royale, of sorts.
Keeper of the Law: The winner becomes the leader of the Shadowbrand. The losers go to the tavern to drown their sorrows and wait to be hired.
Raelag: So leadership is solely based on my ability to kill as many of our own people in the shortest amount of time? Sweet.
Keeper of the Law: I’ll see you in three months. *casts random spell*
Raelag: *casts random spell*
Yrbeth: My name is Yrbeth, and I will be challenging you for the title of Clanlord. See you in three months, loser.
Vayshan: Hello babies! I will penetrate you with my weapon! All of you are going down, hard!
Sorgal: Raelag, here’s a tip from the pro. Sit back and let these other guys duke it out. Then, swoop in for the kill.
Kythra: Has anyone seen my bra? Ah, forget it. I’ll just use this belt.
Eruina: As Clanlord, you shall all enjoy daily whippings and be crushed underneath my stiletto heels. Ho ho ho! Shut up, slave!
Michael: My shadow dragons will make mince meat of you all, so beat it! A-hee hee!
Raelag: Looks like the competition will be tough. Also, it’s taking forever for the AI to complete their turns. I want the tournament to start already.
Three months later…
Keeper of the Law: Round one, fight! *teleports*
Raelag: I like Sorgal’s plan. I’ll sit back and let these other guys destroy each other.
Sorgal: Well, Raelag. Looks like it’s just you and me. Mano-a-mano. A fight to the finish.
Raelag: Look, man. The level is rigged so I end up with more troops. You have no chance.
Sorgal: You win, man. Uh… can you give me a job? Can I be your secretary or something?
Keeper of the Law: Congratulations to Raelag, our new Clanlord! Unfortunately, you’ve just wiped out 85% of our people in the tournament. So now, we’re the tiniest and weakest clan in all of Ygg-Chall. Better get to work.