The Ranger – Chapter 5: The Vampire Lord

 Findan: Galan, I need you to travel to the Silver Cities and find a mage who can perform the rite that Tieru spoke of. All our future hopes rest upon your tattooed shoulders.

 Galan: So, do I just go and kidnap a wizard or what?

 Findan: What? Of course not! Seek out Zehir, the flamboyant son of Cyrus. I don’t know his last name. But you’ll know him when you see him.

 Galan: And so I go, the unsung hero of this campaign, destined to fade into obscurity and to be lost in the annals of time forgotten.

 Spectral Dragon: Don’t mind us. We’ve just taken up residence in Irollan while you were gone.

 Findan: The eternal darkness, a perfect environment for the undead armies of the Griffin Empire to flourish. If I am to end the invasion of Irollan, the sky must first be purified and the sun be allowed to shine upon our grassy fields once more. What a horrible night to have a curse.

 Talanar: We’re tagging along this mission. Leave the exploration and resource gathering to me.

 Dirael: Uh-oh, there’s a trail of green, putrid smoke here.

 Nicolai: Frostmourne hungers.

 Findan: Oh the sad, sad tale of Nicolai. Ripped from an eternity of pleasures by his dim-witted wife to suffer as an agent of the night. Now, even his horse has deserted him. Allow me to end your misery now and forever.

 Nicolai: I return to oblivion.

 Findan: Metaphysically speaking, why wasn’t Nicolai able to project himself like Tieru after his death? Does each dragon god have its own set of afterlife rules?

 Spirit of Tieru: For the last time, shut up. Okay, I’m leaving for real this time.

 Dirael: So, we defeated Nicolai and the mission didn’t end. What gives? Maybe we need to capture all the enemy towns too.

 Seer: The night everlasting engulfs Irollan. Bring me some druid artifacts and I’ll help you clear the air. Only then may the vampire lord and his minions be truly vanquished.

 Dirael: Wait a minute. You have just as much stake as we do in protecting these lands from destruction. Why are you making ridiculous demands?

 Seer: I am a colossal dick. Now go find me the druid artifacts or we can all die together.

 Dirael: What are those fiery creatures you have glowing in the back there? Are you holding out on us?

 Nicolai: From the depths of the dark abyss I have returned.

 Findan: Code red! Let’s just go get the druid artifacts, and fast!

 Spectral Dragon: Artifacts? We’re not guarding any artifacts!

 Talanar: Hmm… we could use a gold mine. I have just enough movement points to reach it…

 Nicolai: Well hello there. I require 664,500 gold for your troops’ safe passage.

 Talanar: Looks like I have no choice. Avenge my deaaaaaath!

 Findan: These blasted artifacts, they’re nowhere to be found. Damn it, old man. Just tell us what we need to do to defeat Nicolai.

 Seer: Did I say druid artifacts? I meant dwarven artifacts. Sorry, translation error.

 Findan: Argh! This is no time for games!

 Dirael: I found the Dwarven Mithral Shield! Three more to go.

 Spectral Dragon: *hisss*

 Findan: As I destroy these fallen dragons, the eternal night is ever so slowly dissipating. Perhaps this is key to lifting the darkness in Irollan and killing Nicolai.

 Seer: Uh, ignore that. Get me my artifacts.

 Dirael: Here, take the Dwarven Mithral Shield, I need to return home to restock my troops.

 Nicolai: Going somewhere? I think my troops would like to have a word with you.

 Dirael: *gulp* Too many skeleton archers… no chance to escape…

 Nicolai: Divide and conquer, that is the name of the game.

 Dirael: Avenge meeeeeeee!

 Findan: The Dwarven Mithral Helmet, at last! Just two more to go. However, I do believe that was the last stack of spectral dragons on this map.

 Spectral Dragon: *dissipates*

 Findan: With the spectral dragons gone, light has returned. My hunch was correct.

 Nicolai: Argh. It’s so bright. I feel my resurrection ability waning.

 Zoltan: Nicolai. We still have hordes of skeleton archers at our disposal. Now let’s go wipe out some more low tier creatures to boost our armies.

 Findan: The Dwarven Mithral Cuirass and Dwarven Mithral Greaves are in hand. Now the end begins.

 Seer: The artifacts, hand them to me. Yes. Yes.

 Findan: With all the effort and sacrifice required to acquire these relics, I find it now difficult to part with the bonuses they grant. Besides, the sun has vanquished the horrible night.

 Seer: Gimme those! *grab*

 Findan: Hey. Not cool, man.

 Phoenix: We are the phoenixes, dragon-like birds of Ashan with powers tied to your own. We were here in the seer’s hut all along, but needed to see if you were worthy.

 Findan: You mercenary bastards.

 Lucretia: Looks like the elves have some new toys. Owww. It burns!

 Findan: Looks like the tables have turned, Lucretia.

 Lucretia: Don’t mess with me. I too trained under the legendary necromancer lord Sandro.

 Phoenix: *stare*

 Lucretia: You win this round, but I’ll be back. Mark my words.

 Nicolai: I have over 9000 skeleton archers at my disposal. I hope the clean up crew enjoys picking up all the broken arrow shafts from the ground.

 Findan: What? Over 9000?

 Hunter: Zing!

 Phoenix: Findan, do not forget how severely overpowered and broken we are. Allow us to demonstrate.

 Skeleton Archer: *9000 dies*

 Nicolai: Impossible!

 Phoenix: And that concludes our involvement in this chapter. Now we will leave you.

 Findan: That’s it? I found all those legendary dwarven artifacts and I don’t even get to keep the phoenixes around?

 Nicolai: At last my story comes to an end. Isabel and the necromancers stole my soul was stolen from Elrath’s warm bosom. And so, I must suffer in an eternity of darkness. Quickly, bring me peace so that I may hurt you all no longer.

 Nicolai: *immolates*

 Findan: Oh the pain of killing a former ally. Mark my words, Isabel. Your involvement has not gone unnoticed.

 Nicolai: *burn burn*

 Findan: This is kind of grim.

 Nicolai: *burn burn*

 Findan: When I find Isabel, there shall be no forgiveness. Who can forget the murders, property damages, and war crimes we’ve witnessed? She will get what she deserves. I will see to it.