The Warlock – Chapter 3: The Cultists

 Raelag: Time to go after the Soulscar. Their souls have scars, you know.

 Keeper of the Law: So… why?

 Raelag: Why do I have to keep explaining these things? We have to conquer all the clans so as to unite them under one nation. Oh yeah, they also want us to be slaves to demons. There’s that little aspect too.

 Shadya: You seem to be taking this awfully personal. Did you used to-

 Raelag: Hey, now is not the time to answer such questions. All you need to know is that I’m a mysterious dark elf who has a hazy past and knows an awful lot about demons. Also, I have a heart of gold.

 Keeper of the Law: Whatever. Go forth, Clanlord. Defeat the Soulscar.

 Demons: We’re totally crashing this party too!

 Shadya: Oh sure. Yeah, I’ll take care of it. Go and do your thing, Clanlord. I’ll be fine here.

 Shadya: *psst* Guys, stop screwing this up.

 Demons: Oh whoops. Sorry. We’ll leave.

 Shadya: I took care of them, Clanlord. How fare your endeavors?

 Raelag: The rest of these Dungeons were easy to capture thanks to my empowered meteor shower attacks. I’m really surprised by how incompetent these other clans are. That and I’m glad to be playing on the easiest difficulty. I heard this mission is a pain on heroic mode. Sorgal, bring me a boot scraper.

 Sorgal: But you don’t wear boots, Clanlord.

 Raelag: I see.

 Argoth: You! I know you. You used to be that fat kid we all picked on. Wow, you’ve really lost weight.

 Raelag: Silence. One more word about my dark and mysterious past and I’ll bind your soul to toilet paper. Now where is the location of the Burning Mirror artifact that I’ve neglected to mention until now? I must have it!

 Argoth: Never!

 Raelag: Fool? You wish to be rubbed against a butt and discarded into a toilet?

 Argoth: You wouldn’t!

 Raelag: I would, and with pleasure. In fact, I feel like I need to go to the bathroom right now. I sure could use some toilet paper. Now where is the Burning Mirror?

 Argoth: It’s behind Kha-Beleth’s idol. There’s a box marked ‘MacGuffins!’

 Raelag: Thanks. I’ll make your death a quick one.

 Argoth: Death? I thought you’re supposed to be one of the good guys. Noooooooo! *explodes*

 Raelag: Now let’s take a look at this palantir- I mean… Burning Mirror.

 Sovereign: Go kidnap the Griffin Queen. But this time, I’m not going to provide you with any troops!

 Veyer: But… but… that doesn’t make sense. Why would-

 Sovereign: I have spoken.

 Veyer: …

 Raelag: Good thing I’m madly in love with Isabel and will do anything to protect her. This includes trekking through hundreds of miles of tunnel to intercept Veyer.