The Will of Asha – Chapter 5: Heart of Darkness

 Arantir: It’s time to go capture Flammschrein, kill Orlando, and get rid of these demons once and for all. Asha uses all!

 Ornella: Ooh! Reinforcements come every week. I like this.

 Arantir: Asha uses all. Who are you guys?

 Succubi: Ha ha ha! You can’t defeat us! There are flames everywhere! I dare you to take another step!

 Arantir: Oh yeah? Watch this!

 Arantir: Ahhhh! Game over.

 Arantir: Darn. Now I have to load my game and replay the last 15 turns. Asha uses all…

 Succubi: Neener-neener-nee-ner!

 Ornella: Let’s just stick with the main quest and go to Flammschrein. Wait a minute, there’s electricity everywhere.

 Lord Fulbert: Yo. A bunch of assassins killed me in my sleep. Avenge me.

 Arantir: You can count on me. Asha uses all.

 Lord Fulbert: By the way, you can remove this magical barrier by putting one of your lame apprentices on each of the ritual sites next to the towns.

 Arantir: Let’s see… we’ll put Kaspar here… and Raven here… and Zoltan here. That leaves one more…

 Ornella: Please use my body for the last sacrifice. Be gentle. I’m fragile.

 Arantir: Asha uses all.

 Lord Fulbert: Congratulations! You dispelled the barrier and killed all your necromancers in the process. By the way, did you kill those assassins I told you about earlier?

 Arantir: Uh, I’m working on it. Asha uses all.

 Assassins: Wahh! Don’t kill us please. We can help you take care of some unfinished business and then leave this land forever.

 Arantir: It’s a deal. Asha uses all.

 Assassins: Die, succubi!

 Succubi: EXPLODE!

 Arantir: And that’s the end of that. Asha uses all.

 Lord Fulbert: You dick! Why didn’t you kill the assassins like I asked? Now I’ll wander these lands, forever restless and damned.

 Arantir: At last, Flammschrein. Orlando has no way out, except through the boneyard. Yuk yuk. I’m so witty. Asha uses all.

 Orlando: I was a demon all along!

 Arantir: Asha uses all. Die!

 Orlando: Noooo! My quadruple-firing ballista was destroyed on the first turn by your liches.

 Arantir: And now, to explode the entire city! But first, let me walk into this mysterious, unnamed building. Asha uses all.

 Arch Devils: Rawr! We’re here to make the ending cinematic feel longer without adding real substance!

 Arantir: Boom! Boom! Whoops, I shattered a strange crystal.

 Isabel’s Spirit: What’s going on? Why am I here? They stole my baby! They put him in a really buggy FPS!

 Arantir: What the f*ck are you doing here? I thought you were with Raelag on a secret honeymoon.

 Isabel’s Spirit: No, I’ve been in this crystal the whole time. My body managed to reanimate on its own and take on my exact personality for the duration of the previous expansion.

 Arantir: Whatever. I release you. Asha uses all.

 Isabel’s Spirit: What luck! My empty shell of a body is out on the field commanding a bunch of troops.
Real Isabel: Oh no. My soul just entered into my body. I am now complete… or something like that.

 Fake Isabel: Too many Isabels! It’s time for Plan B.

 Biara: Presto! One less Isabel!


 Demons: Kill! Kill!

 Arantir: Asha. I have set everything into motion, just as you asked. Now, I will wander off. Be sure to play Dark Messiah to find out what happens to me. Asha uses all.