The Queen – Chapter 5: The Fall of the King

 Godric: Godric is here to save the day! What do you see, daughter?

 Freyda: A peasant militia. Also, do you like my terrible British accent?

 Godric: I can tell from the feminine flower patterns that those are Isabel’s troops. At least she’s safe. Though I cannot say the same about my pride after Cyrus laughed in my face.

 Freyda: Hey guys, where’s Isabel?

 Peasant: She went off to meet with some elves and never came back. At first we di’nt like it when she’s shout all loud-like about WARRIOR QUEENS and some such. But it has been quite boring without her.

 Other Peasant: Yes, indeedy. Quite boring-like. We was going to go mount a search and rescue party. But then we found this here rock, and this here tea. And the rest is history.

 Godric: Based on these fiery footprints, I’d wager she was captured by demons… or some pyromaniac.

 Freyda: Or a fire elemental, father. You must admit that is a possibility.

 Godric: Whatever the case, it’s up to me to save her. Griffin eternal! *casts random spell*

 Freyda: I’ll let you handle this one, father. I leave to go work on my British accent.

 Godric: I’ll just pull this lever here and break this padlock here.

 Isabel: Though you save me, I am more pissed about Cyrus laughing in your face. One day, he will get a face full of hurt from THE WARRIOR QUEEN! *casts random spell*

 Kenald: Lord Godric. Lady Isabel. Scouts report a small army of demons.

 Godric: Since you were just recently captured, and I had to waste troops rescuing you, why don’t we take the conservative approach and build up our town first.

 Isabel: No. That is not the way of THE WARRIOR QUEEN! We will charge forward blindly! It is the only solution fit for THE WARRIOR QUEEN! *casts random spell*

 Godric: My extensive experience as a field commander suggests that is a doomed plan.

 Isabel: That’s why you are no WARRIOR QUEEN!

 Godric: You sure know how to pick ‘em, Nicolai. Thank god she’s not actually the queen of the Griffin Empire yet.

 Grawl: I told you I’d be back. Now prepare for repeated assaults on your castle!

 Godric: We are dying here. Isabel, please go find a Tear of Asha.

 Isabel: No. That is a terrible idea. *casts random spell*

 Godric: Why are you such a negative bitch, Isabel? Can’t you see I’m trying to help?

 Agrael: Surprise attack!

 Agrael: Oh, it’s Isabel. My heart still stings from your unkind words. I shall take my leave.

 Godric: Well now. You drove him away, Lady Isabel. Perhaps you are a warrior queen after all.

 Kenald: Psst. Don’t encourage her.

 Godric: I will regroup with Nicolai and fortify this position. With our combined might, we should be able to stop the demon invasion once and for all. See you in a few weeks. Griffin eternal! *casts random spell*

 Isabel: I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch. It’s the hormones. They’re imbalanced. *casts random spell*

 Dougal: Milady. While you were sitting around moping, we managed to find the Tear of Asha!

 Isabel: Yippie. Glory to Brian Griffin, and other random dead ancestors! *casts random spell*

A few weeks pass…

 Paladins: We have arrived, King Nicolai.

 Nicolai: Everything appears to be normal. I don’t understand what was so urgent that I had to rush down here from the front lines.

 Isabel: Weeeeeee! It’s Nicolai. OMG, he is sooooo hot. I just want to rip that plate mail from his rippling muscles. Take me now, Nicolai!

 Demons: ATTACK! *pounce*

 Nicolai: An ambush! With this magical amulet that can destroy all demons, I’ll send you all back to the abyss! *whooooosh*

 Agrael: Haven’t you noticed that I ride on a big lizard instead of trekking it on foot like my comrades? I am no demon. Your trinkets are useless against me. Now have a taste of lightning. *baaazzzzzaaaap*

 Agrael: Yipes. *runs*

 Godric: We are too late!

 Nicolai: I’m afraid I won’t make it, loyal Godric. As my last order, I appoint Isabel as my successor!

 Godric: Oh good lord.

 Nicolai: I hope I’ve made a wise decision… and not one the fans will criticize…

 Isabel: Nicolai is dead. Elrath is a dick. A colossal dick!

 Godric: Lady Isabel, I don’t think blasphemy is the best-

 Isabel: Queen Isabel.

 Godric: Lady Isabel, I-

 Isabel: Queen Isabel.

 Godric: Okay, Queen Isabel, I don’t-


 Godric: God help us all.