Godric: Godric is here to save the day! What do you see, daughter?
Freyda: A peasant militia. Also, do you like my terrible British accent?
Godric: I can tell from the feminine flower patterns that those are Isabel’s troops. At least she’s safe. Though I cannot say the same about my pride after Cyrus laughed in my face.
Freyda: Hey guys, where’s Isabel?
Peasant: She went off to meet with some elves and never came back. At first we di’nt like it when she’s shout all loud-like about WARRIOR QUEENS and some such. But it has been quite boring without her.
Other Peasant: Yes, indeedy. Quite boring-like. We was going to go mount a search and rescue party. But then we found this here rock, and this here tea. And the rest is history.
Godric: Based on these fiery footprints, I’d wager she was captured by demons… or some pyromaniac.
Freyda: Or a fire elemental, father. You must admit that is a possibility.
Godric: Whatever the case, it’s up to me to save her. Griffin eternal! *casts random spell*
Freyda: I’ll let you handle this one, father. I leave to go work on my British accent.
Godric: I’ll just pull this lever here and break this padlock here.
Isabel: Though you save me, I am more pissed about Cyrus laughing in your face. One day, he will get a face full of hurt from THE WARRIOR QUEEN! *casts random spell*
Kenald: Lord Godric. Lady Isabel. Scouts report a small army of demons.
Godric: Since you were just recently captured, and I had to waste troops rescuing you, why don’t we take the conservative approach and build up our town first.
Isabel: No. That is not the way of THE WARRIOR QUEEN! We will charge forward blindly! It is the only solution fit for THE WARRIOR QUEEN! *casts random spell*
Godric: My extensive experience as a field commander suggests that is a doomed plan.
Isabel: That’s why you are no WARRIOR QUEEN!
Godric: You sure know how to pick ‘em, Nicolai. Thank god she’s not actually the queen of the Griffin Empire yet.
Grawl: I told you I’d be back. Now prepare for repeated assaults on your castle!
Godric: We are dying here. Isabel, please go find a Tear of Asha.
Isabel: No. That is a terrible idea. *casts random spell*
Godric: Why are you such a negative bitch, Isabel? Can’t you see I’m trying to help?
Agrael: Surprise attack!
Agrael: Oh, it’s Isabel. My heart still stings from your unkind words. I shall take my leave.
Godric: Well now. You drove him away, Lady Isabel. Perhaps you are a warrior queen after all.
Kenald: Psst. Don’t encourage her.
Godric: I will regroup with Nicolai and fortify this position. With our combined might, we should be able to stop the demon invasion once and for all. See you in a few weeks. Griffin eternal! *casts random spell*
Isabel: I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch. It’s the hormones. They’re imbalanced. *casts random spell*
Dougal: Milady. While you were sitting around moping, we managed to find the Tear of Asha!
Isabel: Yippie. Glory to Brian Griffin, and other random dead ancestors! *casts random spell*
A few weeks pass…
Paladins: We have arrived, King Nicolai.
Nicolai: Everything appears to be normal. I don’t understand what was so urgent that I had to rush down here from the front lines.
Isabel: Weeeeeee! It’s Nicolai. OMG, he is sooooo hot. I just want to rip that plate mail from his rippling muscles. Take me now, Nicolai!
Demons: ATTACK! *pounce*
Nicolai: An ambush! With this magical amulet that can destroy all demons, I’ll send you all back to the abyss! *whooooosh*
Agrael: Haven’t you noticed that I ride on a big lizard instead of trekking it on foot like my comrades? I am no demon. Your trinkets are useless against me. Now have a taste of lightning. *baaazzzzzaaaap*
Agrael: Yipes. *runs*
Godric: We are too late!
Nicolai: I’m afraid I won’t make it, loyal Godric. As my last order, I appoint Isabel as my successor!
Godric: Oh good lord.
Nicolai: I hope I’ve made a wise decision… and not one the fans will criticize…
Isabel: Nicolai is dead. Elrath is a dick. A colossal dick!
Godric: Lady Isabel, I don’t think blasphemy is the best-
Isabel: Queen Isabel.
Godric: Lady Isabel, I-
Isabel: Queen Isabel.
Godric: Okay, Queen Isabel, I don’t-
Isabel: WARRIOR QUEEEEN ISABELLLLL! SAY IT!
Godric: God help us all.